


Paint the Sky With Stars

by padawanjinx



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 15:19:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2073135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padawanjinx/pseuds/padawanjinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my version of what happened upon Qui-Gon's return to the temple after Xanatos turned. This is my first song fic, so be kind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paint the Sky With Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Published: 10-08-00  
> Disclaimer: I don't own em, I'm just playing with them. I make no money, so don't think about suing me, cause if you come near my sci-fi collection, I'll hunt you down and hide the body where no one will find it.  
> This is my first song fic, hope I did it right. Inspired by "Paint the Sky with Stars" by the wonderful artist, "ENYA". Beautiful song, I recommend you check it out.

Darkness. 

Emptiness. 

Abandonment. 

Betrayal. 

Qui-Gon's face remained expressionless as he walked through the massive halls of the Temple. Students, and even the masters scattered out of his way. His long strides taking him quickly down the hall to his refuge, his center of the storm. 

There were whisperings through the temple about what had happened, no one was bold enough to raise their voice or to speculate in depth. 

It had been merely a day for the transport to bring Qui-Gon back to the temple, though time was irrelevant to the heartbroken master. He'd been in a kind of haze, assuming only a couple short but clouded hours had passed. 

Qui-Gon knew that Masters, Padawans, Council members, hell, even the small initiates wanted to know what happened on Telos. Every time Qui-Gon thought about it, the raw emotions would surface and he'd relive that fateful encounter again and again. 

He was numb, in mind, body, spirit, and mostly his heart. The last thing he wanted to do was to tell of the fateful trip. Though he knew the temple respected privacy, he would have to dredge up that ruinous day, and relive its pain again. 

Suddenly before my eyes 

Hues of indigo arise 

With them are my spirit sighs 

Paint the sky with stars 

It was too painful right now to talk about it. Too personal to allow a complete stranger to see and feel the anguish. It was his burden, and his alone. 

Qui-Gon went to the place that always made him feel at peace. The room of a Thousand Fountains. Here, all his heartache and pain would trickle away, just like the softly flowing water across the rocks. He looked over the water, so calm, peaceful, serene. Never staying in the same place or getting attached, never having heartache. 

He seated himself on the ground with his back against a bench. A small stream murmured reassurances just a couple of feet beside him. He closed his eyes and relaxed, imagining the water was his trouble, slowing drifting away on the river of life. 

The water wasn't calming like it used to be. Qui-Gon opened his eyes, tears beginning to form in the blue depths. He dropped his head in his hands and allowed the pent up emotions to flow out. After an uncertain amount of time passed with heart wrenching crying, he felt a familiar presence and he looked up to see the face of his master staring back. 

Yoda stood quietly, his expression showing sincere grief for his former padawan. His face was etched with heartfelt sympathy, echoes of tears evident in his eyes. He allowed Qui-Gon to say something first, allowing him the much needed quiet to contemplate his thoughts. 

Qui-Gon broke the silence, not bothering to hide his emotions. "Why? Why did it have to happen? Why him? Why me?" 

"Know the answer I do not. But know this I do. The choice was Xanatos's. Great master you are." Yoda said, walking over to stand beside his distraught apprentice. 

Qui-Gon shook his head in dismay, "No I'm not. I wish it were true. I failed him. I failed Xanatos, the Order, and myself." Yoda put his hand on Qui-Gon's arm, "Failed no one you have. Fault lies in Xanatos it does." 

"But I was the one that raised him, cared for him, protected him, like he was my own son. He discared me, tossed me and his training aside for a "Father" that gave him up, deserted him. He was lured in by power, corruption, greed. Everything that we aren't or want, or so I thought he wouldn't be persuaded by. Maybe if I had done things differently he wouldn't have been tempted. He would have stayed and not chosen the darkside." Qui-Gon said, tears still streaming down his face. 

Only night will even know 

Why the heavens never show 

All the dreams there are to know 

Paint the sky with stars 

"Dwell in the past you can not. Change what has already happened you can not. Hope for the the future you can. Learn from mistakes, help with next apprentice it will, when time it is." Yoda wiped Qui-Gon's cheek. 

Who has placed the midnight sky 

So our spirit has to fly 

As the heavens seem so far 

Now who will paint the midnight star 

Qui-Gon's face became stony, his heart seemingly turned ice cold. "There will never be another padawan. I will not allow anyone to betray me again. My heart and mind are closed to all possibilities." 

"Exhausted you are. Pain and sorrow speak for you. Rest you need to clear your mind and heart." Yoda said. 

Night has brought to those who sleep 

Only dreams they can not keep 

I have legends in the deep 

Paint the sky with stars 

"When I sleep, the past comes to haunt me. When Xanatos choose the dark side, it was like my heart became covered in a veil, casting shadows and hardening my heart. How can I rest with my greatest defeat always taunting me?" Qui-Gon wiped tears away from his eyes. 

Yoda sighed, "Despair I feel in you. A void like space fills your heart, clouds you mind it does. No longer see the stars you do. Only see the darkness." 

Qui-Gon turned to speak, but Yoda's hand hushed him. Yoda's eyes held a soften expression, "Remember I do what you used to say, that Jedi's shine like the stars. Many, varied, and always watching over each other. Jedi's are a lot like the stars, showing the way, guiding, not allowing darkness full reign. Always shining, like the force." 

Who has placed the midnight sky 

So out spirit has to fly 

As the heavens seem so far 

Now who will paint the midnight star 

Qui-Gon turned his face away from Yoda and stared out into the space in front of him. "Every time I close my eyes, I see Xanatos's face, full of anger, hatred, rage. Seeing him turn is like living thousands of deaths, over and over in my mind. I will never again see the stars. There is no more left for me to give, and I don't think I could ever allow myself to be attached like that again." 

Yoda placed a small hand on Qui-Gon's chin, turning his face towards him. Yoda smiled slightly, "Darkness may be upon you now, be there it will not always be. One day, you may see the stars again. Maybe one star will outshine all others, and peace you may find again." 

Place a name upon the night 

One to set your heart alight 

One to make the darkness bright 

Paint the sky with stars


End file.
